I Never Find Perfection

Dear friends,

It's true... I can never
find perfection in my life... that's what this personality test told me... I
got it from Maz... whatever it says is true... so true that it's scary... wanna
know what it says? Read below... those that are in red
are true about me... those that are in pink
are situational... those in blue
are things that I wanna keep in mind... those in green
are things that I am not too sure about...

You're an INFP



INFP



You focus deeply on your values
and devote your life to chasing ideals...
you often draw people together around a common
purpose and work to find a place for each person within the group.
You're creative and seek new ideas and possibilities.
You quietly push for what's important to you,
and rarely give up. You
might be somewhat gentle
or have a good sense of humor,
you could be hard to get to know and overlooked
by others...you like to make the
world more in line with your vision of perfection.

If you're a teenager, you probably have
a bit of a rebellious streak. You might
argue with others who hold different values than yourself..you
probably have a small close-knit group of friends...you
can relax around these pals and be pretty entertaining,
since you see the world in a different and special
way... that's why your posts on the Storm Palace are so great!


Inner
harmony is the most important thing to you. You're sensitive
and loyal. You have
a strong sense of honor concerning your personal values. You'd
rather communicate your feelings in writing...


You do best in a flexible situation where the
teacher/collegue takes a personal interest in you...you like
to interact with your peers, but not TOO much ...you have both
creativity and flexibility,
and you like that about yourself....you don't
get bogged down by details...your job
must be fun and it must be meaningful to you....you don't
wanna feel conspicuous so you'll sell yourself short just to avoid the spotlight...


You can be a gentle and subtle leader...being
indirect and inclusive of others...you
don't confront people head-on,
but rather work with 'em to get the job done....you
lead with your values in mind and let these guide
you...you don't
like conflict, so you don't confront
situations directly.. you'd rather
wait for a situation to work itself out....

Leisure and kickin' back is really important to
you. sometimes it is hard to separate work from play, huh? when you find
a new recreational pursuit, you do a lot of reading up on it...most
of your leisure things are done alone, like reading,
listening to music, and even
BBSing....when you want to be sociable, you can
be very charming and outgoing..

Love is a very deep commitment to
you...it's not easily attained...you probably pick
out flaws or are disappointed when he or she doesn't match up to your ideal
as to what love should be like...first
dates are very well set up to make sure everything is taken care of so it can
be "just right." you might have
a hard time sharing feelings about others...you tell
so many feelings inside that you forget to tell your partner
that you love 'em or whatever....

If the relationship goes bad, you take it to heart,
but probably don't tell many others about it....you have
a tendency to overreact, huh? Other things to watch for...don't
get so caught up in your dreams that you don't consider others' points-of-view...you
might not adjust your vision to the facts of
a situation...you may need a "reality
check" once in a while... also, don't
try to please everyone and be so hesitant to criticize... don't
delay projects 'cause you're holding out for perfection...it's
not gonna come...don't get overly critical because
no one matches your perfect ideals... you could lash out and
it could get ugly.



INFP:
"I Never Find Perfection"



***

Right now, I am at home,
having an alone time at the comfort of my own lovely,
welcoming bed... it's great when you are just at home doing
absolutely nothing after you have more than a month of a hectic schedule
in school with hordes of projects to do... sleeping in
late is something that me and most of my friends are looking forward
to... before I cover my face with lots and lots of notes and books for my exam
in 10 days time... no kidding... it is THAT fast.. so
what am I busy with since my last entry that I couldn't even get myself to update
my diary?

I went to the Advertising
Congress... it was great... I really mean it... I heard 4
speakers... 3 ang-mohs and 1 local... the
local one is DAMN boring...
I almost fell asleep if not for Maz and Mei beside
me... there's a guy from school... I think his name is Barry...
as I heard that he's REALLY good in drawing... never mind about
that... anyway, Barry dozed off during the local
man's speech... he's talking something about Return On
Investment or something like that... it's REALLY boring...
his powerpoint slides is TOO wordy that I just
can't be bothered to read let alone listen to him
talk... but it's a good lesson for me... from his
"mistake" I learn not to make a BORING speech
like his... well, you learn from other's mistakes... the other 3 ang-mohs
are great... one is from Coca-Cola and how Sprite
tried to counter the competition from 7-Up with
a 'cool' advertising... LITERALLY...
another comes from an advertising agency and he talked about how he and his
colleagues got arrested in Japan for coming up
with a REALLY great advertisement... he's really funny...
he got praised a lot by the audience... the audience had a great laugh... he
got asked a lot of questions about how he got all his outrageous
but simple and attractive ideas from... I must say... if not for the
emcee calling that the last person to ask a question to him was the last question
for him, I would be going up in front of the microphone to ask him a question:
Can I borrow your brain for a while? No kidding...
I would love to have his brain... I have no idea how he
got all his ideas from... the third ang-moh talked about Return On Investment...
but it's "5 Creative Ways To Improve Your Return
On Investment"... his slides are not wordy like the local one...
he showed lots of great advertisements that brought
the audience into fits of laughter... some advertisements are really silly...
like the X-Box one... some are really funny
like the "Wassup?" Budweiser ad... in
general, I can remember most of the ads that he showed... they are simple ads
but can really made us recall... something that I learn a lot from...

The Advertising Congress
was really fun... but after that, it was all hell break
loose thing for me... I had to discuss for my Integrated
Presentation and prepare for my IBS... everything
just seemed to be VERY hectic...

One day, for my Integrated
Presentation, I was SO mad at my group mate,
Gavyn... you know what happeened? His laptop was
spoilt so he got it repaired and that equals to all his music files that he
kept inside his laptop was gone... and he REALLY likes Nickelback's
"How You Remind Me"... and he die-die
also he wants the song... I have the song
in my laptop... he wanted the song... I told
him that I would burn the song for him on a CD... he told me: "Now
ar?" I said I would give it to him later... he asked me: "When?"
I replied two days' later... then he whined: "Aiyah... but I really want
it now... if not I will die!" so he decided to transfer
the song to his MP3 player... but the song couldn't
be played as it is not in MP3 format... it is in WMA format... so he
went to everybody's laptop trying to find out if anybody
has the MP3 file... and he even complained that
IBM laptops are useless... but my friend, Peiqi retorted back: "I
have MP3 also... Mine is also Creative" then he asked my PRINCE
CHARMING whether he has MP3... my PRINCE CHARMING
nodded... then he asked whether he could borrow PRINCE CHARMING's
thumb drive since PRINCE CHARMING wanted the song as well...
so he plugged the thumb drive into my laptop...
somehow, my laptop couldn't recognize the new drive...
so it had to be restarted... I was pissed
since I was in the middle of doing my part for the Integrated
Presentation and all was gone... I didn't even looked at him... PRINCE
CHARMING asked: "Wah, so long to transfer one song ar?" I
kept quiet... knowing I was pissed, he smiled at me... after my laptop restarted,
I transferred the song to the thumb drive where PRINCE CHARMING
changed the WMA format to MP3 format... then transferred back to his MP3 player...
I was so pissed that I couldn't even sit in the room and
faced him and walked out of the room, telling my other group mates that I would
buy bubble tea when in truth I wanted to cool myself down... lucky for
me, I found Maz and told her everything... I was quite relieved after that...
I went back to the room and did my part for the Integrated Presentation... after
that, he disappeared... I didn't even know where
he went... so, me and my other group mates went to lunch without him... on the
way out, we saw him and asked him to come along but he refused and just walked
away... during lunch I told my girl friends the real deal on my bubble tea...
after that, other complaints from them started to come
out... I was shocked to find out that he
disappeared for 2 hours when me and Mei was at Advertising Congress and was
not in school to discuss the project... 2hours?! Do you know how long
that is? 2 hours and didn't even tell Peiqi or Sifang where he went? After 2
hours, Peiqi called him on the phone and guess
what he replied? He said he was at home... I was
shocked to hear that... I really thought that if I faced him I would probably
play a one-sided game of 'flying chairs' with him... so we went back to our
discussion room and continued with our project... then during
a break, Peiqi complained to me that he said that we were useless...
I was SO shocked and angry...
then we sat at the stairs and talked about him... and Sifang and Mei joined
us... and all sorts of complaints were thrown at me...
I was SO angry... then Peiqi called PRINCE CHARMING
to come down... when he joined us, Peiqi started to complain to him... I was
still SO angry that I just cried...
I said that if he has a problem, he shouldn't have just
go for our discussions with a moody face... there were no
words to describe how I felt... PRINCE CHARMING was
surprised to see me cry... he gave
me a pack of tissue and tried to cool me down but that didn't work...
I kept on crying... so we decided that we should confront
him... after that we did... but during the confrontation I was SO
angry and sad and other emotions
piling up on me that even he was shocked to see me cry... I stumbled
on the words to describe how I felt... I didn't
even know what to say to him... my classmates walked past us and saw
me cry and knew something was up with my group... after saying what I wanted
to say, I just walked off... in the end, I found out I have 4
different packets of tissue for me... one from
Peiqi, another from Sifang, another from Mei and the last one from PRINCE
CHARMING... I laughed... Mei told me that it showed that I have
friends who cared... Sifang said that Gavyn's a
jerk for making me cry... a man shouldn't make me cry so much... she
felt like kicking Gavyn... after that confrontation,
Gavyn changed... he didn't come for our discussions
looking like it's the end of the world...

So, after all that confrontations
and crying, how was our Integrated Presentation? Well, all I can say is that
my group didn't do it well... we had
lots of missing things that we had discussed earlier or talked about but didn't
add them in... everything was so uncoordinated...
I slept for only 1 hour the day before the Presentation...
I almost blacked out during the Presentation...
I didn't even know what I was saying... it's true
what they say: "Anything that can happen will happen"...
my laptop hibernated halfway through the Presentation
even though a few minutes before the battery was full... my battery is spoilt...
after the other groups finished their presentations, my group was bombarded
by the lecturers for our lack of details... the
first group, Serene's the top student's group, did especially great... they
did everything perfect... but they were being commented for being too ambitious...
everytime the lecturers went: "All the groups didn't say blah blah blah",
she would say: "But our group got say blah blah blah"... you should
see the rest of the class... everyone of us were rolling our eyes... but I have
to say, my group and Shi Wei's didn't do really well...
not like Serene's or PRINCE CHARMING's... I like
PRINCE CHARMING's TV ad... it's hilarious...

After the Presentation,
me and my classmates except for a few who couldn't make it went
to Cineleisure to watch White Chicks... it's DAMN
hilarious... I was laughing throughout the whole
show... I thought that I would sleep, but I couldn't... I recommend
everyone of you who haven't watch it to watch it... it's worth your bucks...

So, how was my IBS
then? My IBS went superb even though I didn't
rehearse it nor had I prepared any earlier... I prepared
for the presentation only the day before... I slept
for only 4 hours and I almost fainted in the Ladies
before my turn to present... it was a REALLY
nerve-wrecking experience for me... I was praised
by my tutor for an entertaining presentation...
Mei commented that that was the first time she saw my
tutor smiled after all the calls... my classmates laughed
at my jokes during the presentation especially when I featured
my HUBBY, Ian Thorpe... the class was caught
by surprise and went into fits of laughter and
that includes my tutor... I didn't know my grade though
but he did say that he liked the 2nd group's presentation...
that is the group that I was in... he thought that all
of us did extremely well... so he told us that all
of us passed just that it's the difference of the grades....

I guess that all of
you might be wondering how come PRINCE CHARMING
keeps coming out in my entry again? You would probably
think that my feelings for him is gone? Well, that was what I thought
as well... but I guess he's such a DAMN
caring guy friend... I wonder why he doesn't have
a girlfriend... he's a VERY
caring friend... Solomon is caring too but
Solomon is like a big brother to me and my friends...
he's like a big brother to LOVERBOY... I guess I am a
sucker for caring and sweet guys, PRINCE CHARMING included...
I just knew something... PRINCE CHARMING
is actually from Hong Kong... but he doesn't speak
one bit like a Hong Konger... I guess, he lived
in Singapore for too long...

Shi Wei is such a big
bully... he likes
to pick on people who are shorter than him... but yesterday, he couldn't
bully me... I was wearing high heels and I was the same
height as he is... so we would see eye-to-eye... but while me and my
friends were watching the trailer for The Doll, the upcoming
Korean flick, he kept on picking me from the back
and made me panicked... I was already scared stiff
watching the trailer and there he was trying to pick me...

LOVERBOY
cut his hair... he decided to cut
his hair after he failed his driving test... when
I found out, I laughed but he scolded me back and
told me I should try to take the driving test as it was difficult... well, I
know that since my friend, Maxine, failed her driving
test as well... but I wonder how Shi Wei, Gavyn
and Eldon could pass theirs... I had rode on Shi Wei's car... I had rode
on Gavyn's car and also Eldon's... they are good drivers... Eldon
is scared of driving beside a bus as it was "big"... Gavyn
couldn't park backwards as it always ended up not straight... Shi
Wei has yet to know the directions as we almost got lost in East Coast Park...

Ian Thorpe likes Amanda
Beard... well,
that's what the media seems to be saying... I don't know
if it's true or not... but it seems to stir the
message board that I like to go to... the teenage
ones seems to be lashing out at Amanda... while the older
ones including me seems to be supporting whatever choices Ian makes...
you could see the generation gap at the message
board... the older ones, those in the 20s, seems to be
the ones who are very mature, including me whom, you should have known by now,
proclaims to be MRS IAN THORPE... I find it weird...
I was once a teenager... I remembered when I lashed out
at whoever who went out with Mark... I could remember those times...
so I understood those teenagers... hormones
raging and all... but here I was being VERY mature
and sensible saying that I will be happy as long
as Ian is happy and that love can't be forced...
I can't believe I am saying all those things... I am REALLY
old...

During all those discussions on Integrated Presentation, I have been named the DJ by my friend's, Grace, friend... everytime a song was being played on my laptop, her guy friend will look up at me and said: "I like the song"... then another song played and he would say the same thing over and over again until in the end, he looked up at me and said: "Can I have your laptop?"... I kept quiet then I replied: "No! This is my Ian Thorpe"... and everyone laughed... then Peiqi commented: "Siti, if you go out and come back to find your laptop is gone you know who the culprit is"... when he went back home, he said: "Goodbye DJ!" so cute of him... then the week after Peiqi herself commented: "Siti, one day I am going to steal your laptop! I like all the songs!"... now, I have to keep an eye on my laptop... you'll never know what will happen...

Well, that's all I have
to say in this entry... I am SO sorry if it's a VERY long entry... but it's
been a while since I last entered my life entry... so see you later...

Love,

Siti Hajar @}--

Princess Siti Grint is feeling obsessed on 2004-10-06 at 12:02 a.m.

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