“Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.”

Saturday (January 31):

Ok… 2dae… my cuzzin treated me 2 mc… ok… so its juz mc… no biggie deal… but hey… she juz brought home 1300 bucks yup… 1300 4 d 1st time… I m hapi 4 her… I mean… who wldnt… she worked her ass off trying 2 reach dat amt of money… so… she gladly deserves it… n wen she wen 2 my house wif her sis 2 pick me up… I was playing wif my laptop… den dey saw my class photo… cos it was on my desktop wallpaper… so I pointed out vincey… n dey were like… “ooh… cute…” haha… I was like… of course… I hv a gd taste… haha… n going out wif my cuzzins can get a lil horny… bcos… dey r a bunch of horny gals… haha… den I found out dat my cuzzin can b a lil slow… haha… we were going back 2 my house… n we were walking @ d carpark n she was talking 2 me… wen suddenly she realized dat her slippers had slipped off… n guess wat… d most funniest ting is dat… she realized it onli wen she was like 3 steps away frm d slippers… n me n her sis started laughing n laughing non-stop… it was so candid… how I wished I had a video cam along… I iwld b taking d whole ting n featured it in gotcha or sumting… its so hilarious… oh well… wen d 3 of us r 2gether… its fun… dis is wat happen wen u hv 3 fun n horny gals 2gether… haha…

Sunday (February 1):

SELAMAT HARI RAYA HAJI!!! 4 dose who hv no idea wats d meaning of my name siti hajar… well… hari raya haji has sumting 2 do wif my name… hehe… I m so proud of my name… actually… not proud of it… I LUV IT!!! Hehe… newayz… my head is kinda woozy… y… well… I chatted wif vincey in d wee hrs of d morning… frm 1 to 2.40 am in d morning…. Hes kinda cute in d chat… he has a lot of haha n hehe… so cute… we were chatting abt how d liverpool vs everton matches… n both of us r equally mad @ houllier… n how he can still say its d best derby match in yrs… den we talked abt d new arsenal player… n he was commenting how arsenal mite get cheated wif d money… haha… den he chatted wif me tilll his batt is so low dat it has 3 mins left onli… haha… so cute… I tink by dat time his laptop is going 2 hibernate any sooner… haha… so newayz… during d dae I wen 2 my aunt’s house… stayed dere 4 a while b4 I wen off wif my cuzzins 2 go shopping… we planned 2 go 2 far east… but in d end… we didn’t… cos dey gave me tips on wat clothes dat suits me n my body n wat cld enhance my body more… n I bought dis skirt… kinda a 1st 4 me cos I don’t hv dat kind of skirt b4… n dat is by d advice of my cuz cos she said it looks gd on me… hehe… n I bought dis shirt frm jennyfer… kinda sporty… but goes well wif d skirt… its so great going out wif dem… n dey were commenting how my mom didn’t even call me… which she usually does everytime I m out wif my frens… haiz… n dey were commenting wat will happen if I go on a date… n dey had dis idea dat if I were 2 go on a date… I shld either double-date wif dem or tell my mom dat I m going out wif dem wen in reality I didn’t… haha… so naughty… haha… newayz… after dat I wen on d net… n I got n email frm timberland company… bcos I sent n email 2 dem 2 request 4 d cash budget info 4 d fmgt project… n boy was I glad dat I wld receive n ans frm dem in 7 – 10 days… which means dat we’re close 2 success… juz cross out fingers dat we wld receive d cash budget info frm dem…

Monday (February 2):

I M MAD!!! I m reali realil mad!!! Y… well… u c… I wen out shopping wif my cuzzins yesterdae rite… well… I wen out yesterdae tinking dat 2dae I wld stay home n clean up my rm cos honestly… my lecture notes r all over d place… so I wanna clean all dose up n put my mind in peace… cos if not… my hands will b all itchy 2 tidy up n my eyes will b veri ‘painful’ 2 c messiness in my rm… so newayz… 2 dae… I woke up @ 12 noon… n I slowly ate my brekkie-cum-lunch… n watched tv wen my mom told me 2 take out my baju kebaya out 2 iron n I go n take a shower… I was like “huh? Wat? Where r we going?” wif a total blurness written all over my face… n my mom told me we were going 2 my cuzzin beside my dad’s engagement ceremony… n I was like “huh? Y didn’t u tell me earlier?” n she was like “y? u hv other plans?”… n I replied “yes… I do… I wanna stay home n clean up my rm n do my skoolwerk”… skool werk is equal 2 writing all my lecture notes all over again cos its bloody messy… n she was like “so u don’t wanna go?” n I was like “yes”… s she said “ok”… den she told my dad… n my dad was angry @ me… juz great… so nw… its like my fault… well… its not my fault dat my mom didn’t tell me abt d whole thingy b4hand…If not… I wld hv stayed home yesterdae… but no… she told me @ d veri last mon… dis is always like dis… everytime deres sumting… my mom wldnt tell me until 1st 2 ask me whether I hv anyting… NEVA… everytime last mon… n everytime I obliged 2 her… but I cldnt juz do dat everytime… I hv my own schedules, my own plans, n my own BLOODY like 2 take care of… n nw my dad’s mad @ me… n its all bcos of my mom… tell me honestly… wat is d use of living… I quote wat vincey told me earlier… hes sian n stress n tired of living… oh boy… I sure understand dat… I can honestly tell u dat Liverpool n soccer isn’t our onli common tings… we even tink alike… I guess dats meant 2 b… n d onli ting dat can cool me down is seeing vincey’s cutie face, or turning on d aircon @ 10 degrees Celsius or banging my head on2 d wall so dat I wld b unconscious n wen in2 coma n wont hv all dis stupid probs in my life!!!

Tuesday (February 3):

Ok… I dono wat 2 feel… I reali don’t… juz nw was “THE LECTURE MARATHON DAY”… so newayz… d 1st lecture ended half n hr earlier… so me n my frens kinda wen in n out of d lecture theatre… we 1st wen 2 d ladies… den we wen in back… den 1 of my frens asked if any of us wans 2 go n buy sumting 1 munch… den we wen out back… den vincey wen in… walked 2 his seat… n den wen off again… n walked beside me… n I to the wanted 2 go 2 d men’s or sumting… but den he suddenly asked me “eh… u wan 2 meet my gf?”… n I was like “huh?”,,, n he was like “reali!”… n den he wen off n I was like “shit… walk faster walk faster… I don’t wanna c his gf…” so I kinda walked faster n saw him talking 2 a guy named leon… n den I juz ignored him n walked off… its not dat I m mad @ him… I juz don’t wanna meet his gf… so after dat me n my frens wen 2 d canteen n bought sumting 2 eat/drink… den I said “walk slower…” n den ting was like “y”… n I told her wat vincey told me… n she was like “isn’t it betta if u noe it earlier? D earlier d betta”… n 4 once I was like “true oso ar”… den we were walking back 2 d lecture theatre wen I saw him talking 2 a gurl… I tot she was d gf he was talking abt… n all my frens were looking @ me… n Sammie was looking @ me 2 c my expression… n asked me is dat his gf… n I was like “dats wat he told me”… n I walked so fast dat I don’t tink I was walking… I tink I was running… haha… but d irony is… I don’t reali noe dis gf-bf thingy… but y is d gurl on her hp n vincey on his… weird… n dey don’t seem interested in wateva dey r talking abt… den after dat ting was saying 2 me during our supposedly discussion on our ief project… she was telling me dat d gurl she saw isn’t d gurl she wld tink vincey wld go 4… n I was like shocked cos honestly… I didn’t c how she looks like… haha… I was looking @ d ground n walking… n ting told me dat shes plump, wears specs n hv a ponytail… n I was like “huh?”… I don’t noe if its true or she was juz saying it 2 make me feel hapi… haha… ok… I reali dono wat 2 feel, tink, say, or do… I reali don’t…

Wednesday (February 4):

2dae… ief is a total panic or sumting… I didn’t noe how 2 do d werk I was supposed 2 do cos I did it earlier b4 n it sux cos it was wrong totally… haiz… so Solomon ended up doing it on transparency… n I felt reali guilty… den after dat I found out dat vincey is a model part-time… I was like “no surprise but still surprise”… y… cos he didn’t tell his parents abt it… so its kinda his secret or sumting… den wen was asked y… he said probably wat I wld consider d wrong ting 2 say… he wans 2 c d world… reali reali reali sumting wrong 2 sayd… cos he was being teased (note: sarcastically!!!) after dat… den wen Solomon was asked 2 sit down back… koh poh tee asked 4 another person 2 take his place…no1 dared 2 do it… after she commented dat Solomon was being hated lah… den 1 of my frens jia qing stood up 2 take his place… n den she said dat we don’t hv compassion, sympathy, blah blah blah… called us cowards blah blah blah… honestly… its not dat we hate Solomon or anyting… we’re juz afraid of her… haiz… always picking on us… n everyting… I swear frm 2dae onwards… I will pick up my courage 2 stand up n volunteer… wrong oso nvm… @ least I bloodily try my best… n u noe wat… frm 2dae onwards… I will try not 2 tink of anyting else but ME!!! Not dat I m selfish or anyting… wat I mean is dat I wld try 2 4get vincey which wld b sumting veri hard 2 do… not bcos hes in front of me everytime… not dat… but d veri fact dat I luv him since d dae I met him… dat will b veri difficult… veri difficult… I don’t noe how I will do it bit u wldnt noe if u try… but I tink itll b a tuff journey cos even rite nw… writing dis diary… I m still tinking of him… haiz… newayz… I was tinking of dis new motto in my life… I wanna b SEXY… NAUGHTY… BITCHY… haha… dat’ll b difficult s well… but who cares… I m already feeling bitchy n naughty… d sexy part will b difficult… haha.. I will need ur help if u r reading dis… wat shld I buy 4 my daddy cos hes turning half a century old in May… n I dono wat 2 buy 4 him… HELP!!! Hehe… erm… he likes soccer… formula 1… n cycling… actually he likes everyting sports lah… haha… so nw… my mind is like multi-tasking a lot cos I m tinking of vincey, my projects my life my dad’s bdae… haiz… my mind reali needs a rest…

Thursday (February 5):

I CANT 4GET HIM!!! I CANT 4GET HIM!!! I REALI CANT!!! I STILL LUV HIM NO MATTER WAT I TRY 2 DO!!! Haiz… ok… 2dae I wen 2 skool s usual n den I was talking 2 my fren wahidah abt American idol thingy n den while talking I heard familiar voices rite behind me… n I was like “wat d hell”… bcos dey were talking quite loudly… so I turned ard… n guess who were behind me… vincey n wee kiong… wen I turned dey laughed n told me 2 continue my conversation wif wahidah… n dey said dat dey were talking loudly on purpose 2 catch my attention… I was like… wassup… n continued walking… hehe… cute… so newayz… I wen 4 my psychology class n guess wat… it was cancelled cos my veri SMART frens didn’t do their presentation n so dere is no class… isn’t dat stupid or sumting… haiz… so after dat… me maz wahidah n wayne wen 2 search 4 books in d library 4 our presentation… den it was French… n I saw vincey again… n he was turning ard n saw me n I smiled… haiz… c wat I mean… how can I 4get him… damn difficult I tell u… den after dat I wen 2 my cuz’s house n I taught her a lil French… n I played video games… haha… n wat m I gd @... pool… haha… I m gd @ playing pool… not in reali life tho… I sucked @ it… haha… 4 real…

Friday (February 6):

I M SO HAPI!!! VERI VERI HAPI!!! Hehe… ok… lets start frm d beginning… I wen 2 skool… was abt 2 cum out of d house wen vincey msged me n asked whether I m bringing laptop… n I said ya… n I was like y… n he said dat his grp needs 2 use it n he doesn’t tink dat d others in his grp is bringing… n I said dat hes lucky dat I bring it n I will lend him my laptop… n dat I m veri helpful… n guess wat he msged me back wif... “haha… I tink ur nose longer already… c ya later…” (note: ??? nose longer? I tot head bigger not nose longer… haha) n I was like… “idiot lah u… newayz… c ya later…” haha… n b4 I go on 2 wat happened 2dae… n b4 I 4get… yesterdae nite vincey msged me 2 remind me 2 do my assigned qns on laptop… n he msged me dat earlier already which I ignores… n wen he msged me again… I was like “yes handome boy :p I will do it on laptop… don’t worry k…” n I tot he wldnt reply cps everytime I start my msg dat way he wld neva reply… but he did… kinda surprising… so newayz… back 2 2dae… wen I reached skool… n wen he saw me… he was smiling… haiz… den I was talking 2 him wen suddenly a water drop dropped on my shoulder… I tot it was bird shot or sumting but it isn’t… it was water droplet… n I was looking @ my shoulder… n dere he was laughing n laughing… n I laughed along… n hit him on d back… n he was like “woah… b careful… wait my drink falls on wee kiong… ur fault ar…” den after dat I stopped laughing… n we were both quiet… n den he looked @ me… n laughed… AGAIN!!! I cant believe dis guy… haiz… den during blaw class… he had 2 go off earlier cos he participated in d open house thingy… so sporting… I damn lazy 2 participate… haha… den after fmgt lecture… I was sitting wif my frens… den in front of me deres 2 gurls dat I noe of… but dey didn’t realize I was sitting behind dem hearing their every conversation… n 1 of dem called vincey’s name wen she saw him… n dey were laughing abt sumting… n den vincey walked off… den d 2 gurls commented dat he has a nice ass… haha… den after dat we wen 4 our fmgt class… n den we found out deres 3 classes in 1 class… den I told vincey dat I brought d laptop 4 nothing… n den vincey was like “u bring it 4 me… 4 my sake…” n wee kiong was like “ya… 4 his sake…” all I cld do was smile… n vincey was commenting abt how cold d rm was… kept on saying sejuk… haiz… den he borrowed my laptop… bcos dey had 2 do sumting urgent… den after dat my laptop kinda loads up slow… den he was like “jia you…” I looked @ him blur… haha… n den it was d end of d class… n I was going home… n I tot vincey was going 4 d open house or sumting cos we both wen separate ways… I was walking 2wards d bus stop… he wen d canteen way… but wen I saw him walking beside me… I was like surprised… n he walked 2wards me… n he wanted 2 talk 2 me but d prob is… my bus has arrived… n I saw rashidah (hello gurl if u r reading… sori 4 not going home wif u guys… hehe) ting n aidi walking 2wards 61 bus… n 75 bus has oso arrived… n he was like “aiyah ur bus come already… always like dis one… wan 2 talk 2 u bus come… go lah go lah…” n wen I heard dat… my heart juz dropped… so I stayed behind wif him n chatted… den his bus came… n he was like “thank u 4 waiting wif me… nw u wait 4 ur bus…” n he was walking 2wards his bus wen bus 61 came… out of nowhere… usually 61 is late… but juz nw… it was fast… haiz… fated I guess… hehe…

Princess Siti Grint is feeling obsessed on 2004-02-07 at 12:57 a.m.

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